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Eragon Sixteen

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Chapter The Witch and the Werecat

SummaryEdit

So, Eragon gets up and looks at himself in the mirror. And he finds that "There was a slight cast to his eyes that, when he looked closely, gave his face a wild, alien appearance." I think this is the mostly all meat diet talking here. He's missing the nutrients that he needs to keep his eyes healthy. Though I'm sure that's not what Paolini meant. He then goes wandering the city and eventually ends back up at the herbalist's shop.

He then meets what is essentially a were-house cat. This werecat is named Solembum.

Let us look at the name of this cat. Solembum. Solemn bum. Serious Ass.

Yes. The cat's name is Serious Ass.

Serious Ass.

Can our naming conventions get any better than this?

I don't think so.

Serious ass is a werecat, as previously mentioned. Werecats are extremely rare animals which "have magical powers, lived longer than humans and usually knew more than they told." Serious Ass' attitude reminds me a lot of Mogget's, from Garth Nix Abhorsen's trilogy. Mogget is a powerful magical cat like creature that dispenses wisdom with a sardonic dry wit.

When Sabriel asks Mogget what his name is, he replies, "I have a variety of names," replied the cat. It had a strange voice, half mew, half purr, with hissing on the vowels. "You may call me Mogget." (Sabriel, 121)

Serious Ass gives a similar response to Eragon. "I go by many names. If you are looking for my proper one, you will have to look elsewhere." The eye closed. Eragon gave up and turned to leave. "However, you may call me Solembum". (Eragon, 201). Rather similar, I think.

We then learn from Angela that Solembum doesn't show himself to most customers and that Eragon shows promise. He's just that special. And that only two other people have been able to talk to him before. Lovely.

Angela then offers to read Eragon's fortune. Apparently she offered this to the two other people who Serious Ass talked to before. The one who took it was a woman named Selena.

Guess what Eragon's mother's name is? First two don't count.

Over come by emotion and angst Eragon decides to have his fortune told too.

Guess what Angela says about Eragon's fortune. It's the hardest one she's ever told. His future is unknowable.

He's just thatspecial.

If he gets any specialer I'm gonna puke.

She still makes some pretty good guesses. He's going to have a long life. Mighty lands are going to try and control his will and destiny. He's one of the few who are truly able to choose their own way. *gack* There's a doom upon him. Someone close to him is going to die. He will have to leave this land forever (ten bucks says that he sails off to the land where the elves came from never to return again. *hopes*)an epic romance is in his future with a lady of noble birth, powerful wise and beautiful beyond compare. *double gack* and he's going to be betrayed by someone from within his family.

That's actually a pretty good fortune. If that's not supposed to be clear, I wonder what her clear ones are like. "You will meet a tall dark and handsome stranger. His name is Will. He will ask you for five dollars on Sunday, at the meat market. Marry him and you will have three children named Susan, Peter and Janzi." Hah.

The bones never lie. Which means all the suspense in the story has just been tossed out the window. We know exactly what's going to happen to Eragon. We know that he's going to be betrayed by a family member. We know that someone close to him is going to die, probably Brom, because he's the only one around. He's going to fall in love with a noble woman (who's apparently a Mary Sue) and he's going to leave never to come back.

If you're going to do a prophecy in the story, don't give EVERYTHING away. Paolini just telegraphed his entire story out. There's nothing surprising going to happen now. We know what's going to happen.

If that doesn't get you going, Serious Ass gives Eragon advice to an uber magical object for when his power is insufficient and an uber magical weapon when he needs a weapon. They're in locations like the Vault of Souls. Which sounds uber neat and special and mystical. I don't think I can take any more of this.

I think the theme of this chapter is how special Eragon is. And how special he's going to be. Because that's all that happens in it. He's special. We know it.

The cat's name is Serious Ass.

Eragon
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