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Leave-Taking Edit

After getting his sword, Eragon gets his stuff and goes to see Sloan. Forewarning. This is going to hurt your soul. Even if you don't have one.


Saphira doesn't want to go see Sloan, but Eragon says he won't be content until he does. How ... noble of him.

We get a nice description of where Sloan is living.


...Eragon and Saphira continued through the woods until the arrived at a small one-room house grown out of the bole of a fir tree that stood out at an acute angle, as if a constant wind pressed against it.

To the left of the house was a soft bank of earth taller by several feet than Eragon. A rivulet of water tumbled over the edge of the bank and poured itself into a limpid pool before meandering off into the dim recesses of the forest. White orchids lined the pool. A bulbous root protruded out of the ground from among the slender flowers that grow along near the shore, and sitting cross-legged upon the root was Sloan.

Beyond the phrasing "acute angle" which doesn't fit in with the rest of the 'soft' words in the description and the fact that my brain kinda went "ORCHIDS MEANS BALLS". I swear I am never going to be able to have orchids (TESTICLES) in my stories because of the vet-tech anatomy class I had. We were learning body parts! And yes this is one of the things we learned about. The fact that there is a bulbous root doesn't really help matters. Other than those two caveats, it's fairly nice description. Not overly long and overly blown. I wouldn't mind seeing it. (BALLS)

Eragon doesn't want to let Sloan know he's there so he leaves Saphira behind and is very quiet. They've gotten Sloan dressed in elf robes with a black cloth around his eyes. He's whittling a length of wood in his lap with a small curved knife.

That is not at all sexual.

Nope.

>.>

... ORCHID MEANS BALLS!!!

Sloan tells him to go away he doesn't want to listen to some bards or he just wants to be left alone. So, Eragon asks him if he's okay, in elvish. Which Sloan doesn't understand and he bitches at Eragon about how he knows that he doesn't understand him so stop it.

He then says, "You were right; having something to do with my hands calms my thoughts. Sometimes ... sometimes I can almost forget what I have lost, but the memories always return, and I feel as if I am joking on them... I am glad you sharpened the knife. A man's knives should always be sharp.

Eragon watches him for a minute more and then goes back to Saphira upset that Sloan didn't want to repent his crimes.

And that's it.

This is a huge opportunity missed like the Willy Coyote trying to get the Road Runner.

First of all. Sloan is carving. We're only told he's carving "something". Eragon obviously doesn't care enough to know. But it would show an important part of Sloan's inner workings and thoughts. It could tell him if he really is feeling repentant. He could have been carving animals. Or his wife. Or his daughter. What would have happened (if Eragon had emotional responses) if Eragon saw a carving of Katrina. Or him lovingly try and carve her, only from his memory? I mean that would be a seriously emotional scene (if done right). How would Eragon feel? Would he feel guilty about what he did to Sloan? (Not likely).

This could have been a major turning point in the story, emotionally. If there had been any emotion in it. The idea of forgiveness and love and maybe ... who knows.

It should have been a much more in depth section. The summarized lesson of this section shouldn't be. If he does not wish to acknowledge his mistakes, Eragon , nothing can force him to. In any event, you have done all you can for him. Now he must find a way to reconcile himself with his lot. If he cannot, then let him seek the solace of the everlasting grave.


...



...


...



...


NNNNGGgggGGGGGNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGHHHHH...................


NNNnnnnnngggggggfffff;ljakdsf;lakdj;hijJKLIUIUAKDKJFLHKJILK;LK; DIEDIEDIEDIEINANEVERBURINGINFLAMINGFIREOFDIEINGDEATHNESS. AKS;DERFA;SFJ;ASDJKF L;L

ERAGON HAS DONE EVERYTHING HE COULD DO FOR SLOAN?!

REALLY NOW!? REALLY?!

EVERYTHING!?

DID HE, I DON'T KNOW, HEAL HIS EYES OR EVEN REPLACE THEM OR GIVE HIM SOMETHING HE CAN USE TO SEE INSTEAD OF THEM, BECAUSE I MEAN IT'S NOT LIKE HE CAN CURE CANCER OR ANYTHING ... OH WAIT HE CAN! WHAT ABOUT GIVE HIM FORGIVENESS AND SHOW THAT HE UNDERSTANDS WHY SLOAN DID WHAT HE DID TO PROTECTED THE ONE PERSON HE LOVED, SOMETHING THAT ERAGON MIGHT HAVE DONE, IF HE COULD CARE ABOUT ANYONE. MAYBE GIVING HIM TO HIS DAUGHTER TO TAKE CARE OF AND LETTING HIM BE PART OF A CARING FAMILY MIGHT MAKE HIM MORE AMENABLE TO CHANGING HIS THINKING ABOUT HOW ERAGON SUCKS ASS. THE ONLY THING ERAGON HAS DONE FOR SLOAN IS TO PROVE THAT HE WAS RIGHT IN HIS ORIGINAL ASSESSMENT OF ERAGON, THAT IS THAT ERAGON IS A SELFISH LITTLE SOULLESS BASTARD WHO LIKES TO TORTURE INNOCENT AND DISABLED PEOPLE TO PROVE HIMSELF RIGHT. ERAGON WOULD LIKELY TORTURE KITTENS IF IT WOULD PROVE HIS POINT. THAT ERAGON IS AS BAD OR AS WORSE AS GALBATORIX IN HIS TREATMENT OF THE HELPLESS, ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT CANNOT HARM HIM ANYMORE AND THAT HE THINKS HIS WAY IS LAW.

GEE... I GUESS THAT DOESN'T FALL UNDER THE CATEGORY OF EVERYTHING. MY BAD.

HAS ERAGON MAYBE TRIED TO TALK TO SLOAN AND HELP HIM CHANGE HIS WAYS?

HAS ERAGON DONE ANYTHING TO ACKNOWLEDGE HIS OWN MISTAKES IN THIS SITUATION? OF COURSE NOT ERAGON DOESN'T MAKE MISTAKES.

ERAGON IS A MONUMENT OF POO.



...


nnnnnnngh.


I want cookies.


As clearly in the right...



I can't say that.

After that amazing display of huma...


Eragon and Saphira then go off and find Yoda. Yoda is off and ready to leave as well. They're going off to Gil'ead to help the elves siege the city. This confuses Eragon and Saphira because aren't they supposed to be trying to keep their existence secret? Yoda says well yeah, but now let me give you this pitiful excuse so I can go off and get killed and leave you with some angst.


Oromis closed his eyes for a moment, his expression withdrawn and enigmatic. "The time for hiding has passed, Saphira. Glaedr and I have taught the two of you everything we could in the brief while you were able to study under us. It was a paltry education compared with what you would have received of old, but given how events press on us, we are fortunate to have been able to teach you as much as we did. Glaedr and I are satisfied that you now know everything that might help you defeat Galbatorix.

"Therefore, since it seems unlikely that either of you will have a chance to remain here for further instruction before the conclusion of this war, and since it seems even more unlikely that there shall be another dragon and Rider for us to instruct while Galbatorix still bestrides the warm earth, we have decided that we no longer have any reason to remain sequestered in Du Weldenvarden. It is more important that we help Islanzadi and the Varden overthrow Galbatorix that we tarry here in idle comfort while we wait for another Rider and dragon to seek us out.

"While Galbatorix learns that we are still alive, it shall undermine his confidence, for he shall not know if other dragons Riders have survived his attempt to exterminate them. Also, knowledge of our existence shall bolster the spirits of the dwarves and the Varden and counteract any adverse effects Murtagh and Thorn's appearance on the Burning Plains may have had upon the resolution of the warriors. And it may well increase the number of recruits Nasuada receives from the Empire."


Okay. So. Let us deconstruct this.

1. Oromis has apparently taught Eragon everything he can to defeat Galby but not everything that a dragon rider needs to be a dragon rider, therefor he's not needed anymore.

BUT... What about after the war? Who is going to teach Eragon all the other things about being a dragon rider if Oromis is dead? Here is an example of Paolini's lack of thought. He's gotten WAR but not what happens after the WAR. Right now the War is the Be ALL END ALL and so everyone must focus on that instead of what may come afterward.

2. There won't be another dragon and Rider to seek him out for instruction before the end of the war.

BUT... Eragon did not seek Oromis out. Oromis sought him out and said YO DUDE COME HERE. Also, there is a chance that Murtagh may get free and/or the last dragon egg may be rescued. If Oromis goes off into battle and dies who will give the green egg/ Murtagh and Thorn training?

3. Oromis being alive will undermine Galby's confidence.

BUT... Galby's killed of hundreds of dragons and riders by himself. What's one more weaker dragon and Rider?

4. Knowing that Oromis and Glaedr are still around will bolster the Varden's efforts.

BUT... they're going to help the elves, not the Varden. The hasn't been much communication between the two groups. And then only in the higher echelons. The lay Varden wouldn't know about the gold dragon, so there wouldn't be any spirits risen. Also the dwarves don't like the elves and likely they'll be "Why have you been hiding this dragon and Rider instead of using them to help our effort, you lazy sodding podding bastards?"


Blah, blah, blah, more excuses.

Eragon brings up what about the last egg? Oromis is "You can do it even though you know nothing, don't worry we'll get the scholars to help you even though they won't have practical experience and there's all this stuff that us dragon riders hide from the normal people and wouldn't have written down."

Blah blah, your sword is unique and awesome. Brisingr is an awesome name for the sword.

Blah blah. We may not survive so here, have Glaedr's heart of hearts.

Glaedr then throws up his heart of hearts and gives it to Eragon.

This is supposed to be awe inspiring and touching that Glaedr entrusts such a thing to Eragon. I'm just bored now.

Don't tell anyone about the heart, except those elves you're helping, but after you've sworn them to secrecy. Don't tell Arya though. Because too many people who know a secret makes it not a secret at all.

And they fly off!


Brisingr
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